Ольга Чигиринская (morreth) wrote,
Ольга Чигиринская
morreth

Восполним пробел

Top 10 reasons to be Russian

1. Everyone thinks you can hold more liquor than human body can contain.
2. You can always be sure about who is your next president.
3. You can celebrate both Christmas and New Year twice.
4. You certainly know who won WWII.
5. You can be more arrogant than any American with no reasons that make Americans so arrogant.
6. No matter what an asshole you are, you can still refer to the "enigmatic Russian soul".
7. Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Ivan Turgenev - you may hate them and not read them at all, but still be proud of your great literature.
8. Also Tchaikovsky, Glinka, Raсhmaninov, Prokofiev - no matter you couldn't possibly tell their masterpieces from one another, you can still be proud.
9. You can call gays "buggers" almost officialy.
10. Vodka.

Top 10 reasons to be Ukrainian

1. Everyone thinks you can hold more liquor than human body can contain, because everyone thinks you are Russian.
2. And you can always stop to be Russian when it starts to be annoying.
3. You can celebrate both Christmas and New Year twice.
4. No matter how lame your president is, you can always say "I hadn't voted for him".
5. And comfort yourself that Russian president is way lamer.
6. No matter what an asshole you are, you can still blame Russians.
7. Actually, Nikolai Gogol is Ukrainian.
8. And Sergei Prokofiev too.
9. Girls and women.
10. You can be outsung only by Italians, but Italians don't drink horilka. After a bottle of horilka you can outsing any Italian.
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